Give Yourself a Try: Letting Go of Perfectionism

For so long, I procrastinated on so many of my goals and dreams.

Even to this day, I still have all of the ideas. All the things I want to create, places I want to go, and versions of myself I want to become.

The only difference is that now I’m finally taking action towards them.

Because eventually, I got really tired of the inaction. You know, staying stuck, staying small, and essentially finding myself in the same place as the year prior.

I no longer wanted that.

To transition out of inaction, I started asking myself, Why? What keeps holding me back?

What I came to find was that so much of it was due to my perfectionism —sometimes quietly, sometimes much louder than I want to admit.

Because it was just a normal way of operation, I didn’t even fully realize I was being a perfectionist.

What is Perfectionism From My Lens

Perfectionism, for me, means having high, unrealistic expectations of myself. It’s wanting to do things well and well only. And at the core, feeling like anything I create is never good enough.

How does it play out? I attempt something, not get it right within the first few tries, and give up.

Rinse and repeat.

I really believed that if I wasn’t naturally good at something—or if I wasn’t excelling quickly—then why even try? And that belief led to a lot of procrastination. And greater anxiety due to the inaction.

Because if I couldn’t guarantee that I’d do something well, or succeed, it felt safer not to do it at all.

I didn’t want to risk “failure” after years of tying my worth to my performance and outcomes.

The struggle became between two voices inside. The voice of my soul pulling me forward and the voice of perfectionism keeping me safe yet stagnant.

Fighting at war.

Although I had listened to perfectionism all my life, my soul’s voice became louder.

It was asking me to operate in a new way. To take the imperfect, flawed action anyway.

To give myself a try and keep going.

Thankfully, I chose to listen to my soul.

Where My Perfectionism Came From

Growing up in a small town and excelling in many of the things I did, where a lot came naturally to me, created this internal bar of excellence.

Over time, I associated achievement with worthiness.

If I was doing well, I felt good about myself. If I was succeeding, I felt capable. If I was excelling, I felt like I was enough.

And in the areas where I struggled—like seeking outside validation, wanting to be accepted, being okay with being introverted and sensitive, and building confidence—I often tried to compensate by giving more, doing more, and appearing like more.

But I always left feeling unsatisfied and more disconnected from myself.

Looking back now, I can see that feeling “not enough” wasn’t just something I occasionally experienced. It had become part of how I saw myself. I genuinely thought that was who I was.

After spending the past few years intentionally tending towards a healthier, kinder relationship with myself, I can better easily spot when that old pattern shows up.

It sounds like a harsh inner critic—nagging at me, demanding more, and scrutinizing everything I do. Which feels defeating, depressing, and makes me want to withdraw from everything.

I’m thankful I now can spot it. I know when I am being extra hard on myself, my inner perfectionist is here. And I can choose again.

The Cost of Never Trying

The lack of certainty, and not being able to guarantee that I would do something well, made it feel safer not to do it at all. But avoiding failure also meant avoiding the possibility of growth.

I was protecting myself from difficult emotions—disappointment, embarrassment, judgment, and shame—but I was also keeping myself from experiencing what might happen if I actually gave myself a chance.

I became really good at silently suffering. And I realized something: it felt worse not trying at all.

It was the pain of staying where I was that eventually propelled me to change.

I didn’t want another year to pass by without taking action. I didn’t want to keep abandoning myself in the name of staying safe.

So I started small.

Baby Steps Build Self-Trust

I began making tiny commitments to myself. Baby steps. Little things I could follow through on every day, even when I didn’t feel like it.

And slowly, something began to change.

I started building trust with myself.

That trust created momentum. The momentum created confidence. And the confidence gave me the courage to take bigger leaps.

I started doing things my inner perfectionist would have begged me not to do: Joining a high-ticket sales academy with very little experience and a lot of uncertainty. Applying for jobs and putting myself out there knowing I might get rejected. Creating and sharing content before I felt completely ready. Allowing myself to be seen. Going out on days I didn’t feel like my best self. Trying things I might not be good at.

And every time I did, I learned something: I could handle trying.

Action Teaches Us

I’m learning that we don’t learn by thinking everything through until we feel 100% ready.

We learn by doing. By creating. By speaking. By moving. By trying.

Action gives us information that thinking alone can’t.

In the process, I’m learning more about what I like. What I don’t like. What feels true. What doesn’t. What I’m capable of. What I want to explore next.

I’m reminding myself: You don’t have to be good at something for it to be worth doing. You just have to be willing to be a beginner. Maintain that beginner’s mind.

Let down the pressure. Let down the guard. Explore. Be curious. Give yourself encouragement instead of criticism.

Even if it’s messy. Even if you’re not the best. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing yet.

Give yourself a try.

A Failed Attempt Doesn’t Mean You Failed

I’m learning that I don’t have to turn every experience into evidence for or against my worth. Because my worth was never something I had to earn through performance or measurement in the first place.

And this is where self-trust has become so important for me.

To me, self-trust is trusting myself and trusting the process. The journey. It’s knowing that maybe things won’t work out perfectly or the way I want them to, but believing that I’ll be there for myself regardless of the outcome.

That I can try again. Adjust. Pivot. Change my mind.

Nothing is permanent. Nothing is fixed. We’re all just learning as we go.

And when I trust myself to show up and be there for me, I’m choosing to replace my perfectionism with a newly created sense of safety within myself—one built on self-belief, trust, and perseverance.

Perfection vs. Giving Yourself a Try

I look back now and think, Wow… I really didn’t believe in myself.

I thought I needed to have everything figured out before I was worthy of being heard. Before I could share what I had learned. Before I could take up space. I thought I needed more experience. I thought I thought I thought…

I needed to become someone “worthy” before allowing myself to live.

And living that way never felt good. Because to me, perfection was focused on the (unattainable) result.

Giving yourself a try is focused on the journey. And to me, that is what makes life exciting and worth living.

Every time I take action instead of staying trapped in my head, I get to learn something about myself. Action has become less about proving myself and more about getting to know myself.

Coming Back to Yourself

Letting go of perfectionism and coming back to myself has allowed me to embrace our shared humanity, and make healthier connections as well.

Because walking around believing I have it all figured out—or feeling like I need to—doesn’t leave much room for growth or connection.

It actually creates distance.

From myself. From other people. From life.

What if leaning into honesty and vulnerability with life is actually an opening? A quiet way of saying: Hey, I’m just like you. I’m figuring it out, too.

And what if that honesty becomes an invitation for someone to enter in, and also love and accept themselves, too.